NO REGRETS          

One of the juiciest tools a coach can use is that of the powerful question. 
As a life coach, I believe everyone has his or her own answers within them.
Sometimes we have just lost touch with the part of us that “knows” what is best for us, what we really want, what stands between us and personal fulfillment and happiness.
Now, mind you, I certainly have my opinions, ideas, and have been known to, when invited or not, offer advice.  But my main belief is that with some permission, some space, some excavating, some deep self-inquiry, everyone ultimately has the answers to their own questions, their dilemmas, and their problems.
Enter the juicy question.  I always know when I am on to something big for myself when I ask myself a question that makes me a little or a lot uncomfortable. Maybe I don’t really want to know the answer. Maybe it will lead me to a lifestyle change I’m afraid of, or out of a relationship that I’m reluctant to end.
Regardless, the question becomes the central tool and then I can decide what to do with the answer.
The poet Rainer Maria Rilke said: “Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
One of the questions I ask myself from time to time when faced with a tough decision is, “Which choice will I not regret?”  This question can be a wonderful filter for setting the best course of action. I can then consciously choose and trust that, even when looking back, I made the choice I felt best about at the time, one I trusted then that I wouldn’t regret.
This has also been a great question to use with my clients.  Often people come to me when they are not sure what to do next with their lives. They are feeling disconnected from their passions, not feeling fulfilled, wanting more of an experience of joy in their lives personally and professionally.
A rich question to ask ourselves at times like this is, “What regrets do I not want to have at the end of my life?”
That’s where we start then. What would it take, starting today, to not look back at the end of our lives and have that regret?
What actions do you have to take so that the possibility of regret will not come to pass; so you can say, “I’m grateful I did/expressed/ experienced that in my life instead of regretting that I didn’t.”
I once heard that we probably regret more the things we didn’t do rather than the things we did. Well, I don’t know about that, but I think it can work either way.

“Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the present, it is thine.”    Henry W. Longfellow

“Look to this day,
For it is the very life of life.
In it’s brief course lie all the verities and realities of your existence;
The bliss, the growth, the glory of action, the splendor of beauty.
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But today well lived makes
Every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day,
Such is the salutation of the dawn.”        Sufi, 1200 BC

“Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live.”  Anais Nin

“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. That we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day.
Do it! I say.  Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.”   Michael Landon

CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO ARTICLES